Hi all. Hope this is allowed here. I’ve been toying with the idea of getting a cat for the past several months now. I’ve actually never really interacted with cats, though. I don’t even know if I’m allergic to them. I visited my coworker a couple of times and one of her cats rubs up against my leg to either greet or mark me and then goes elsewhere.
Some info on me:
- Early 30s, lives alone, works ~40 hours a week in a NON wfh job (so I will not be home for significant portions of the week)
- I do not have much of a social life, so most of my time outside of work is spent at home
- I am very comfortable financially to own a pet. I frequently pay vet bills for my mom’s dog who has ailing health.
- I own my own place, ~1200 sq ft (111 sq m), and do not plan to leave any time soon
- I do not plan to move, have a partner, or have children
- It is impossible for me to ever wfh with my career and I do not want to change my career
- I am familiar with taking care of dogs, and took care of my mom’s dog on my own temporarily for 1 year without issue
- I am only interested in owning a single pet, not two (I know people frequently get 2 cats to keep each other company)
- I am interested in an adult cat, not a kitten
- I don’t do lengthy traveling, however I frequently visit my mom (and vice versa) for a couple of days at a time
One big important thing to note is that my mother and I take turns visiting each other every couple of weeks. It involves us traveling a couple of hours by car and then one of us staying with the other (either my place or my mom’s place) for 2 days. My mom has a dog who is quite old and has ailing health, so I’m not sure how much longer she will live. Her dog is a small dog ~15 lbs, but is not necessarily great with other animals. She is ok with other dogs if they do not antagonize her, but I don’t know if she would fight with a cat or not as she has never met one. Her dog also has bad separation anxiety. I have enough rooms in my house that I could separate the cat and dog when my mom visits, but idk if that is a ok or not. It also means that I might leave a cat home alone for a couple of days when I visit my mom. I have read that people can do this with cats, but I don’t know if it is a good idea. I would plan to purchase pet cams, auto feeders, etc.
I still haven’t had the balls to go down to the local Human Society and ask them about cats and cat adoption, but I don’t know. I am thinking about going there tomorrow. Is my situation too complicated for me to have a cat? I feel like mentally it would be nice to have a companion to come home to every day. One of the reasons why I’ve never bothered to look into getting a pet is because I live alone and don’t work from home and because my mom and I visit each other. Although I have experience with dogs, it seems like a cat might be more doable for my life situation.
Would this be too poor of a life for a cat?
Thanks for your time, all.
Don’t overthink it. Adopt a cutie that you “connect” with. Then it’s just water, food, litter box.
You’ll figure out a schedule/plan for away times.
I went to look at my local shelter and I started to ask the desk staff questions about this sort of thing and he basically just responded the same way you did.
Yep. House cat = very low maintenance.
Also, they can be aloof for long time. My gal didn’t sit on my lap for a year.
If you’re going to leave your pet alone for long periods of time, you need to find it some company. Cats do get lonely and desperate . They’re social creatures, contrary to popular belief.
IMO any cat that has shelter, food, and a loving home is living a good life. Your time away for work won’t bother them, a cat will spend 8+ hours sleeping even while you’re around no problem. The longest I’d go on a multiday trip is 2 days without someone checking in and cleaning up liter boxes, with auto feeder I think you’re good there too.
All that said - I’d still reconsider getting a pair. I wish we got ours together at the same time, we waited 2 years and it was a marked difference in my first cat’s personality having a buddy (erm, sparring partner) and I do feel it’s better for them in general. They’ll do fine solo though. Don’t let it deter you from a fuzzy friend.
I would go to the rescue and get two younger cats that obviously get along well. Cats are social animals; a human can stand in, but I still think it’s better for them to have another cat that they can ambush and run around with. I think it keeps them more active. Do you agree?
There are cats out there who would prefer to be an only cat, so tell the people at the humane society that you’re looking for that, and they might even have some adoptable cats to suggest right away. When I was looking to adopt a cat who’d be good with my other cat, I ran across a bunch who were great with people and not other cats. I don’t think you’ll have trouble.
You might like to start our fostering. It’s a great way to see if you can fit a cat into your life. As others have said, I think you will enjoy having a kitty. Maybe consider a senior. They are usually low energy
Get a cat. Cats are great. You’ll never want to live without a cat again.
Source: I have two cats.
Starting with 1 cat, especially after never having any cats before, is a smart idea. But know that it’s very likely a pathway to 2. 2 will almost always be better than 1, unless you’re just not ready for the idea of dealing with 2 different personalities. Oh, and never declaw a cat. If it already has been, that’s one thing, but expect a lot of aggression, since they only have 2 methods on defense now, instead of 3.
For now, get a single cat from the shelter, tell them about your needs and expectations. Let them know that you, for now, wish to only have 1 cat, and to try to accommodate that. This will get you at least reasonably accustomed to dealing with how cats work; you will be training both the cat and yourself.
Now, maybe you’ll never want more than 1 cat, you never have more than 1 cat, you get solo cats, more elderly, and keep on doing that as they continually die every so often, and maybe that’s the life you live. And that would still be a good thing, because at least those cats would get some love and care, which is better than just not getting any cats at all.
For now, if you really want a cat, just go get a single cat. Take care of the fuzzball, and give it the love it needs. Maybe you’ll change your mind in the future, maybe not. No one knows the future, even yourself. And that’s okay.
“don’t even know if allergic to them” Typically a humane society will let you play with or interact with some cats before adopting them, do that or go to a cat cafe first, you don’t want to be finding out after getting a cat that you’re allergic… Best way to tell is put nose to fur coat and inhale.
I’ve owned 4 different cats in my adult life and we had two when I was a kid (not at the same time). They will each have their own personality, some will prefer more interaction than others. Some will be more violent than others (don’t play with them with your hands it can encourage biting or scratching people, always use a toy)
You will want cat scratching poles for the cat to use instead of your furniture some flower varieties have pollen that is toxic to cats (lilies or pretty much any bulb) the cat just has to smell it, not eat it, to get sick (or worse). And be aware that you will likely want to trim the cat’s claws, that involves holding the cat snugly enough for them to not escape while trimming their talons. Older cats may have medicine you’ll need to give, so definitely don’t be shy about thrusting a pill down their throat if need be.
Cats can be perfectly fine as an only cat, but it will help to find toys that encourage solo play, one example is a circular plastic track with a ball in it that they can hit around and around.
Also, be aware that hairballs are a thing and can be a common occurrence (weekly, sometimes more often) there are strategies such as a furminator comb (removes excess hair by brushing), hairball diet cat food, hairball treatment goop (comes in a tube and they have to eat a little bit).
And of course, cats need to exercise and watch their diet just like humans, and they’re creatures of habit so you will want to not get up early to feed or give them treats because they will expect that at that time then.
Oh and being woken up at strange hours of the night is a normal occurrence whether it’s from knocking shit down in the other room or just sitting on your chest and meowing.
All these people saying two… Realize that it depends on the cat’s personality, I’ve had a cat that would go for blood with any other cat, very territorial, so don’t try to just get two cats if you don’t know that they’ll work well together. Last thing you want is them hurting each other while you’re at work.
Many humane societies welcome fostering and it allows you not just a chance to answer all these questions but also a chance to see how well you fit with a specific cat.
Don’t allow yourself to get peer-pressured into multiple pets at the start. Every cat is different and some sleep so much and are so low energy that they won’t notice your absence while others will miss you right away. Fostering will help you sort this out as well.
I think everyone’s life could be made better with a cat in it. The fact that you’re aware and concerned with a future pet’s wellbeing in your care makes me think you’re going to be a great caretaker.
I’ve had cats my whole life, starting at 2 or 3 years old. Your future kitty will have a good life, even if you are not WFH. Cats are more independent than dogs.
Keep your kitty fed, warm, clean it’s litter, and be kind to it. Be patient with it when it inevitably does something frustrating to you - it’s a cat, after all. Don’t remove its claws - this is like removing your fingertips up to the first knuckle.
There are more things, but these are the biggest.
Two would be better so they can keep each other entertained, but you said you wanted an adult cat and I’m sure there’s some poor elderly kitties who would be fine being an only pet. Sometimes the older rescues weren’t socialized and don’t get along with other animals, so that would be totally fine for you. If that’s the case, you almost certainly would have to separate the cat and dog.
I have a “problem” cat that was a spoiled only child, though she begrudgingly accepted a new sister after a while. I’m convinced she would be absolutely content as an only cat.
I would advise against. A house is not a good place for a cat to be alone, and 40h per week is a lot. We have an old cat (17) and my roommate is at home all day and our cat still is super needy for attention.
There may be more aloof cats, but from my experience with cats they are most likely the exception and your cat would likely be understimulated.
Also, most cats do not handle traveling well. It is possible to train them but that works best when they are young and young cats should never be alone in a house for 40h/ week. My mom has taken in cats from an animal rescue organization where the owner was out for long hours too and she got depressed and overate so badly she had lifelong issues, even when she was with my mom and lost weight again. She also was incredibly anxious about my mom leaving her and would get stressed out if she had to be alone.
Despite what you may hear, cats are social animals and need interaction. If you are away from home 40h/week (and that’s not counting going to work), it’s better to get a bonded pair so they can play and interact. In rare cases you may find an old grumpy cat that will be fine - but you will probably never have a close bond with that kind of cat, and often they are used to going outside.
Why are you insisting on a single pet?
Cats are less socially dependent than dogs, but they are still social creatures who prefer to not be alone for 8+ hours a day.
Either work from home so you can provide their social needs, or get two cats so that their social needs can be met even when you’re not there (also makes taking vacation and travelling easier).
Seriously why would you insist on only a single pet? That seems insanely arbitrary.
Because I don’t feel like I can care for multiple pets as a single person who lives alone? I know some do, but I am not comfortable with that. I don’t understand why that is so odd. As I stated, my situation is exactly why I’ve never entertained this idea to begin with before recently.
My career doesn’t allow me to work from home. Not everyone has that type of a career. I am compensated well for what I do, so I am not interested in changing careers. If my conditions are harmful to a pet, then I won’t get one. That’s why I’m inquiring here.
There are definitely cats that need companionship and lots of socializing, but there are also cats that are perfectly content with an hour or two of your time, and cuddling in and lying on your bed with you while you sleep can also fulfill that need. 40 hours a week still means plenty of time with you physically in the house. I’ve had cats all my life and seen lots of personalities. I think it’ll be important to find the right cat but they are absolutely out there. I say go for it.
Because I don’t feel like I can care for multiple pets as a single person who lives alone? I know some do, but I am not comfortable with that.
But the question is why?
What about owning two pets seems more difficult than one?
I’ve owned multiple cats bonded to me and each other, and I’ve owned a single cat bonded to just me, the former is much much easier.
I have experience taking care of one dog. I don’t have experience with taking care of multiple pets concurrently and don’t really feel comfortable doing so. I’ve never taken care of a single cat, so immediately jumping into two sounds incredibly daunting and I am quite frankly just not interested in doing so considering I have zero experience in that. It will already have the potential to be complicated enough when my mom visits with her elderly dog.
I don’t have experience with taking care of multiple pets concurrently and don’t really feel comfortable doing so. I’ve never taken care of a single cat, so immediately jumping into two sounds incredibly daunting and I am quite frankly just not interested in doing so considering I have zero experience in that.
I get what you’re saying, for a responsible pet owner, it’s always nerve wracking going into pet ownership and taking on a dependent.
But my point is that jumping into cat ownership is jumping into cat ownership. You’re going to have to keep their water full, pour some food in their bowls a couple times a day, clean their litter, and then play and cuddle with them every day. Once a year you have to put them in a carrier and bring them to the vet.
Adding a second cat to that situation means that you pour a second bowl of food, fill up a second bowl of water, clean a second litter box when you clean the first, and once a year put two cats in carriers rather than just one. At the same time the amount you need to play with them and cuddle them every day decreases substantially.
With one cat, going away on vacation means that you basically need to find a cat sitter, or you leave them just sitting at the door waiting for you all day getting depressed. With two cats, they get sad but then play and cuddle and bond with each other.
You keep saying stuff like ‘im just not interested’ which isn’t an explanation, it’s a thought terminating phrase. Take it from us experienced cat owners when we say that in your situation, it’s would be great to adopt two cats, and cruel to adopt just one.
Edit: it is different if you adopt an elderly isolated cat that would otherwise be put down. In that situation, you’ll still be providing them with a life, but if you do get through to them, they will bond to you, and it will still make leaving for trips difficult, even if they’re used to your daily absence. A support network is inherently more flexible and robust then a support pair.
It is not cruel to have one cat. You’re saying all cats are social, that’s bs, tell that to my grandads old cat Tuggs who would attack anything that wasn’t him. Or my parents old cat that lived to 18 in a loving household, on her own. . Your attitude stinks - “take it from us experienced cat owners”, you can’t talk for all cat owners.
I did edit it and follow up softening my stance.
You’re right though, it’s just a sore spot because there are a lot of people who think that cats are independent animals by nature and can be left alone without consequence. If you have an older cat who’s been alone their whole life that can be true, but virtually every cat would be happier if they were raised from a young age with a friend.
Jeez, alright, man. I get it. My lifestyle would harm a single pet. That’s why I never considered having a companion until meeting my coworker’s cat. I’ll drop the idea.
Don’t listen to one person, lots of cats love being the only cat, I had two at one point, ended up having to separate them because one wanted to play all the time and the other hated it and wanted to be left alone! Just like people, you can’t put everyone under the same umbrella. Some cats want company, some don’t. You need to find one that suits your needs.
Don’t listen to that fool. You are perfectly qualified to care for a cat. I’m probably less qualified than you, and my cats are happy and love me.
I edited my comment after with this because I thought I was coming off too harsh against the idea, and even this I would soften further:
Edit: it is different if you adopt an elderly isolated cat that would otherwise be put down. In that situation, you’ll still be providing them with a life, but if you do get through to them, they will bond to you, and it will still make leaving for trips difficult, even if they’re used to your daily absence. A support network is inherently more flexible and robust then a support pair.
The fact that you’re putting this much thought and consideration into it, signals that you would probably be a very good cat owner, and I don’t think you should write the idea off.
Just, try and find a cat that seems independent, and 6 months or a year in, look back and reconsider if it would actually be that much harder to add a friend to the mix.
