You’re not wrong, and I agree that there’s value in distinguishing between those ideas. I’ve just been around a lot of kinky people who insist there’s no difference in the words, so maybe there’s a language shift going on.
Recently I’m thinking I may be demisexual too. Kinda like a double-demi/ace hybrid. I like the idea of sex, but it would have to be a very special person. But I don’t have much drive to try for it, it’s just not that important to me. I mean we’re already in the ace spectrum anyway, so maybe that’s redundant.
Still trying to nail down what labels I’m comfortable with. Probably will always be a little wiggle room to change as time goes by.
Yeah, we’re demi in many ways, including demisexual. After much experience with this kind of thing we learned that rushing in to things, even with a desire for things do things doesn’t work for us, and really knowing a person is important, so we won’t do anything sexual or romantic with someone until we have gotten to know them quite well.
Sadly too many people expect it or cannot be bothered to wait around, which is why most of our current partners are all some flavour of ace and maybe aro, heh.
It’s also why dating apps etc don’t really work for us as we’re too cautious and want to get to know someone before meeting up, but most people are like “let’s meet up right now” and we aren’t into that. We had someone reject us once because we spent ‘too long’ thinking about if we wanted to meet them, ugh when they hadn’t really put any effort in to get to know us and we had put clearly in our profile that we need a lot of talking to in the app first.
Sigh, mainstream dating culture is awful. We would rather just date friends.
You’re not wrong, and I agree that there’s value in distinguishing between those ideas. I’ve just been around a lot of kinky people who insist there’s no difference in the words, so maybe there’s a language shift going on.
@SweetCitrusBuzz@beehaw.org
You know what, I don’t think I knew the distiction before. I was just making a drive-by “lol” type of offhand comment.
Never thought about it that specifically. I will try to be conscious of word choice now.
Thank you fellow demiromantic.
There are dozens of us.
Recently I’m thinking I may be demisexual too. Kinda like a double-demi/ace hybrid. I like the idea of sex, but it would have to be a very special person. But I don’t have much drive to try for it, it’s just not that important to me. I mean we’re already in the ace spectrum anyway, so maybe that’s redundant.
Still trying to nail down what labels I’m comfortable with. Probably will always be a little wiggle room to change as time goes by.
Yeah, we’re demi in many ways, including demisexual. After much experience with this kind of thing we learned that rushing in to things, even with a desire for things do things doesn’t work for us, and really knowing a person is important, so we won’t do anything sexual or romantic with someone until we have gotten to know them quite well.
Sadly too many people expect it or cannot be bothered to wait around, which is why most of our current partners are all some flavour of ace and maybe aro, heh.
It’s also why dating apps etc don’t really work for us as we’re too cautious and want to get to know someone before meeting up, but most people are like “let’s meet up right now” and we aren’t into that. We had someone reject us once because we spent ‘too long’ thinking about if we wanted to meet them, ugh when they hadn’t really put any effort in to get to know us and we had put clearly in our profile that we need a lot of talking to in the app first.
Sigh, mainstream dating culture is awful. We would rather just date friends.