There’s a big difference between weird or questionable and criminal or abusive. Once someone is over 18—especially in their 20s—they have legal and moral agency. A 23-year-old dating a 40-year-old might raise eyebrows, but it’s not pedophilia, and calling it that cheapens what real victims go through.
While I think it’s weird that a 21-23-year-old dating an older person is really weird and inappropriate, I can’t compare an older adult dating a 23-year-old to a literal paedophile who goes after literal children; they aren’t the same. One person deserves to die, and the other doesn’t. The one dating a 23-year-old is a little weird and deserves a side eye; the other deserves to be locked up in prison forever.
Stop comparing this to a paedophile; one is very weird and gross (but the two people consenting have the right to choose to be weird and gross), the other truly evil.
Pedophilia isn’t the same thing as being a child rapist. Most pedophiles never offend, and the majority of people in prison for child rape aren’t pedophiles - they’re just rapists who target children because they’re easier victims. Feeling sexual attraction toward children, through no fault of one’s own, doesn’t automatically mean a person lacks a moral compass. Demonizing them or wishing them dead doesn’t protect anyone - it only makes it harder for those struggling with these feelings to seek help. Their lives are already miserable enough as it is.