How did you get there? It’s more like “for best results, sexual activities, love and commitment should go hand in hand” and “you shouldn’t make money out of something so intimate and important as if it were nothing”. Ofc you don’t feel that way, but admitting it is too much so you have to fight strawmen. It’s okay, the world is big enough for OF stars and their partners; and also for those who wouldn’t do that and wouldn’t date those who do. As long as we’re not at each other’s’ throats about it, it should be fine, right?
for best results, sexual activities, love and commitment should go hand in hand
This is fine, I agree with it as written, but I dispute that “commitment” has very much to do with sexuality, except sort of tangentially, in that people are often bad at managing their feelings around it, or simply have extremely strong feelings which are hard to manage. It’s true that if something affects you emotionally to the degree that it has negative impacts on your partner, you shouldn’t do that thing, but that would apply to any stressful job where you took your stress out on your loved ones.
you shouldn’t make money out of something so intimate and important as if it were nothing
This on the other hand is the kind of thing that religious people say when they don’t want to admit that they see women (and let’s be real, it’s always women we’re talking about) as property.
Of course you can date or not date anyone for whatever reason, nobody can make you. So indeed, the world is big enough for that.
admitting it is too much so you have to fight strawmen
This is exactly what you are doing with the second statement. If you were to honestly dissect why you think that “making money out of it” would mean that “it were nothing” you would be able to see that too. It implies that someone doing OF somehow lessens the commitment to their partner. Robbing him of something you see as rightfully his. It is this deeply engrained patriarchal mentality which is in the end responsible for most of the emotional issues.
And sure, if you can’t handle it, that’s ok, many people can’t. We all have things that are hard for us. But it’s better not to lie to yourself about where those feelings come from.
I’m describing what I believe in and what you believe in, not telling you that “I hold the truths of the universe with complete certainty and this is it”. And yes, I couldn’t handle my partner (or myself) being a prostitute or prostitute-adjacent. I’m sure many people can handle their crack better than me but that doesn’t mean I envy their positions or how they got there. Again, to you your system and to me mine.
I mean, cool, if you want to outright affirm that you are a bigot that is your prerogative. But evoking the spectre of addiction to hard drugs to denigrate sex workers is a shitty thing to do, and it would lead one to believe you’re not being honest when you claim you think the world is big enough for you and them both.
I’m a bigot because I think some paths shouldn’t be followed and that whether “you can handle it” or not doesn’t matter at all? Had I said booze would you have felt better about it? It’s fun and addictive too, right? You’re gonna go around in circles trying to justify your life choices/‘ideology’ to strangers online because anything on the topic triggers you instead of changing your mind? That’s your prerogative, I guess. And it is big enough, but as long as they don’t repent and try to turn their lives around, of course I don’t want to socialise too much with them (this varies on what the behaviour is exactly). Like, that’s the whole point of “the world is big enough for us”, else the phrase would be “my house/immediate circle”, lol.
You started this discussion saying “it’s reasonable” but you’re unwilling to give any reasons beyond “I believe it is sinful”. Instead of engaging with any of the positions I put forward, you went on a tangent about crack without saying why it is at all similar or why it would be morally wrong even if it were. I don’t believe you’re stupid enough to think that that really carries any logical weight as an argument, so yeah, the only remaining conclusion I can make is that it’s bigotry instead.
How did you get there? It’s more like “for best results, sexual activities, love and commitment should go hand in hand” and “you shouldn’t make money out of something so intimate and important as if it were nothing”. Ofc you don’t feel that way, but admitting it is too much so you have to fight strawmen. It’s okay, the world is big enough for OF stars and their partners; and also for those who wouldn’t do that and wouldn’t date those who do. As long as we’re not at each other’s’ throats about it, it should be fine, right?
This is fine, I agree with it as written, but I dispute that “commitment” has very much to do with sexuality, except sort of tangentially, in that people are often bad at managing their feelings around it, or simply have extremely strong feelings which are hard to manage. It’s true that if something affects you emotionally to the degree that it has negative impacts on your partner, you shouldn’t do that thing, but that would apply to any stressful job where you took your stress out on your loved ones.
This on the other hand is the kind of thing that religious people say when they don’t want to admit that they see women (and let’s be real, it’s always women we’re talking about) as property.
Of course you can date or not date anyone for whatever reason, nobody can make you. So indeed, the world is big enough for that.
This is exactly what you are doing with the second statement. If you were to honestly dissect why you think that “making money out of it” would mean that “it were nothing” you would be able to see that too. It implies that someone doing OF somehow lessens the commitment to their partner. Robbing him of something you see as rightfully his. It is this deeply engrained patriarchal mentality which is in the end responsible for most of the emotional issues.
And sure, if you can’t handle it, that’s ok, many people can’t. We all have things that are hard for us. But it’s better not to lie to yourself about where those feelings come from.
I’m describing what I believe in and what you believe in, not telling you that “I hold the truths of the universe with complete certainty and this is it”. And yes, I couldn’t handle my partner (or myself) being a prostitute or prostitute-adjacent. I’m sure many people can handle their crack better than me but that doesn’t mean I envy their positions or how they got there. Again, to you your system and to me mine.
Way to tell on yourself ;)
Lol, all I do is ‘tell on myself’, starting with my username!
I mean, cool, if you want to outright affirm that you are a bigot that is your prerogative. But evoking the spectre of addiction to hard drugs to denigrate sex workers is a shitty thing to do, and it would lead one to believe you’re not being honest when you claim you think the world is big enough for you and them both.
I’m a bigot because I think some paths shouldn’t be followed and that whether “you can handle it” or not doesn’t matter at all? Had I said booze would you have felt better about it? It’s fun and addictive too, right? You’re gonna go around in circles trying to justify your life choices/‘ideology’ to strangers online because anything on the topic triggers you instead of changing your mind? That’s your prerogative, I guess. And it is big enough, but as long as they don’t repent and try to turn their lives around, of course I don’t want to socialise too much with them (this varies on what the behaviour is exactly). Like, that’s the whole point of “the world is big enough for us”, else the phrase would be “my house/immediate circle”, lol.
You started this discussion saying “it’s reasonable” but you’re unwilling to give any reasons beyond “I believe it is sinful”. Instead of engaging with any of the positions I put forward, you went on a tangent about crack without saying why it is at all similar or why it would be morally wrong even if it were. I don’t believe you’re stupid enough to think that that really carries any logical weight as an argument, so yeah, the only remaining conclusion I can make is that it’s bigotry instead.