Fat Tony@lemmy.world to Today I Learned@lemmy.worldEnglish · edit-24 days agoTIL cows can suffer from fatal bloated stomachs. A way of treating it is by puncture and burning the released methane gas (to determine how much is remaining).lemmy.worldvideomessage-square93linkfedilinkarrow-up1385arrow-down14
arrow-up1381arrow-down1videoTIL cows can suffer from fatal bloated stomachs. A way of treating it is by puncture and burning the released methane gas (to determine how much is remaining).lemmy.worldFat Tony@lemmy.world to Today I Learned@lemmy.worldEnglish · edit-24 days agomessage-square93linkfedilink
minus-squaredickalan@lemmy.worldlinkfedilinkEnglisharrow-up9arrow-down1·4 days agoI know I might get shit for this, but I thought I would share it anyways because you asked. Ultimate Requirement for Ballistic Bovine Methane Production: ~2 kg/s sustained (400x natural rate). LOX Supply: 10 kg/s (requiring cryogenic tanker trucks). Thrust: > 7,000 N (per cow-nozzle). Structural Integrity: Cow reinforced with carbon nanotubes (to avoid rapid unplanned disassembly at ignition). Ignition System: Tesla Coil Spark Plug implanted in the rumen. Trajectory: Vertical launch pad (avoiding trees, barns, UFOs). Final Verdict: Technically possible if you: Treat the cow as a meat-based fuselage. Ignore ethics, biology, physics, and local fire codes. Have a NASA-sized budget and a death wish. Outcome: Success? A charred cow fragment reaches low Earth orbit. Failure? A crater smelling of burnt hair and rocket fuel. Better Use: Flare the methane. It’s cheaper, safer, and the cow lives. Disclaimer: No cows were harmed in this thought experiment. Please do not weaponize livestock. 🚀🐄🔥
minus-squaredickalan@lemmy.worldlinkfedilinkEnglisharrow-up7·4 days agoAchieving Ballistic Velocity (The Tsiolkovsky Cow Equation) The **Rocket Equation** is brutal: `Δv = Isp * g₀ * ln(m₀ / m_f)` Where: * `Δv` = Change in velocity needed (`11,186 m/s` for escape). * `Isp` = Specific impulse (`~360 s` for CH4/LOX). * `g₀` = Gravity (`9.81 m/s²`). * `m₀` = Initial mass (cow + engines + LOX + methane). * `m_f` = Final mass (just… cooked cow?). **Assumptions:** * Engine mass: `300 kg` (mini-Raptor). * LOX mass: **5x** methane mass (rocket ratio). * Methane stored: `500 kg` (we’re pumping hard). * `m₀ = 700 (cow) + 300 (engine) + 500 (CH₄) + 2,500 (LOX) = 4,000 kg`. * `m_f = 700 kg` (cow, assuming engines/tanks detach). **Calculation:** `Δv = 360 * 9.81 * ln(4,000 / 700)` `= 3,531.6 * ln(5.71)` `= 3,531.6 * 1.74` `= ~6,150 m/s`. **Result:** **6,150 m/s < 11,186 m/s**. → **Verdict:** Suborbital cow. Maximum apogee: **~1,000 km** (a very high moo). → **Impact Velocity:** **~3-4 km/s** (kinetic energy = 0.5 * 700kg * (3,500m/s)^2 ≈ **4.3 gigajoules**). → **Effect:** Creates a **10m wide crater**, vaporizing the cow and any nearby farmers. A true “pasture bomb.”
minus-squarespicy pancake@lemmy.ziplinkfedilinkEnglisharrow-up7·4 days ago*raises hand* this is assuming a spherical cow, right?
minus-squareliuther9@feddit.nllinkfedilinkEnglisharrow-up4·4 days agoWhy did I study all this shit if in the end I am still broke af
minus-squareicelimit@lemmy.mllinkfedilinkEnglisharrow-up2·edit-24 days agoBecause you aren’t making cow propelled rockets even though you know how.
minus-squareicelimit@lemmy.mllinkfedilinkEnglisharrow-up3·4 days agoYou missed out the part where cows are frictionless and spherical. Also there are 322 of them in the truck.
minus-squareCookieOfFortune@lemmy.worldlinkfedilinkEnglisharrow-up1·4 days agoThis seems much less than 2kg/s and where do you get liquid oxygen from?
I know I might get shit for this, but I thought I would share it anyways because you asked.
Ultimate Requirement for Ballistic Bovine
Final Verdict:
Technically possible if you:
Outcome:
Disclaimer: No cows were harmed in this thought experiment. Please do not weaponize livestock. 🚀🐄🔥
Achieving Ballistic Velocity (The Tsiolkovsky Cow Equation)
The **Rocket Equation** is brutal:
`Δv = Isp * g₀ * ln(m₀ / m_f)`
Where:
* `Δv` = Change in velocity needed (`11,186 m/s` for escape).
* `Isp` = Specific impulse (`~360 s` for CH4/LOX).
* `g₀` = Gravity (`9.81 m/s²`).
* `m₀` = Initial mass (cow + engines + LOX + methane).
* `m_f` = Final mass (just… cooked cow?).
**Assumptions:**
* Engine mass: `300 kg` (mini-Raptor).
* LOX mass: **5x** methane mass (rocket ratio).
* Methane stored: `500 kg` (we’re pumping hard).
* `m₀ = 700 (cow) + 300 (engine) + 500 (CH₄) + 2,500 (LOX) = 4,000 kg`.
* `m_f = 700 kg` (cow, assuming engines/tanks detach).
**Calculation:**
`Δv = 360 * 9.81 * ln(4,000 / 700)`
`= 3,531.6 * ln(5.71)`
`= 3,531.6 * 1.74`
`= ~6,150 m/s`.
**Result:** **6,150 m/s < 11,186 m/s**.
→ **Verdict:** Suborbital cow. Maximum apogee: **~1,000 km** (a very high moo).
→ **Impact Velocity:** **~3-4 km/s** (kinetic energy = 0.5 * 700kg * (3,500m/s)^2 ≈ **4.3 gigajoules**).
→ **Effect:** Creates a **10m wide crater**, vaporizing the cow and any nearby farmers. A true “pasture bomb.”
*raises hand* this is assuming a spherical cow, right?
Why did I study all this shit if in the end I am still broke af
Because everyone is broke af
Because you aren’t making cow propelled rockets even though you know how.
You missed out the part where cows are frictionless and spherical. Also there are 322 of them in the truck.
This seems much less than 2kg/s and where do you get liquid oxygen from?