If I didn’t see the bottom left image, I would’ve thought this was a once-a-long-time-ago-acquaintance fallen victim to MLM.

If you are so inspired, you can follow Nightvale’s example and begin an after-school volunteer ‘Teach a Spider to Read, Stop the Madness’ campaign.

I’ll go ahead and make the immature ZeFrank-esque comment:

“Crab eating your what now?”