There’s a big difference between weird or questionable and criminal or abusive. Once someone is over 18—especially in their 20s—they have legal and moral agency. A 23-year-old dating a 40-year-old might raise eyebrows, but it’s not pedophilia, and calling it that cheapens what real victims go through.

While I think it’s weird that a 21-23-year-old dating an older person is really weird and inappropriate, I can’t compare an older adult dating a 23-year-old to a literal paedophile who goes after literal children; they aren’t the same. One person deserves to die, and the other doesn’t. The one dating a 23-year-old is a little weird and deserves a side eye; the other deserves to be locked up in prison forever.

Stop comparing this to a paedophile; one is very weird and gross (but the two people consenting have the right to choose to be weird and gross), the other truly evil.