I really appreciate this perspective and it really does shine light on how one is raised based on their gender. I can think of a multitude of examples from your perspective and also from who you are responding to.

I’m absolutely positive that, regardless of how hard I tried not to, I did raise my son and daughter differently. All I hope is that I did a little better than my parents did for me and my brothers and, should they have kids themselves, my children do a little better than I did, and so on and so forth.

Today is not that day but maybe when I’m dust, society will slowly limp along and evolve. Conversations like this may seem divisive now but I think they’re needed in the grand scheme of things.

Maaaan. Why’d you have to go and do that? I was nodding my head at your words until you clarified it’s the woman folks fault.

You immediately made yourself a part of the gender war shenanigans with everything you said right after.

Men do shitty things. Women do shitty things. That’s it. There are always exceptions to the rule, there are always stereotypes that too many don’t fall into. The bad apple stick out because they upset you and the memory sticks. We all come across asshole every day.

I want to give you a hug honestly. And that’s not being sarcastic or condescending. I just got off work and as much as I want to say what I want to say to this type of talk, I don’t. It does no good.

Having a good talk, sharing a drink or a smoke together and hugging/fist bumping/offering my jukebox credits is way better than man hating just because I deal with assholes all day. So I’m offering my last hug of the day to you because I’m sure you don’t truly believe the woman here was speaking against you specifically or even every man she’s ever encountered.

Men aren’t the devil incarnate. Neither are women, though.

I will happily let someone go on about something that excites them because I get it. I feel like there are at least two different points being made here and each camp will not listen to the other.

I will hide out in my studio sometimes to get peace from my boyfriend. It’s not that I don’t love him. I adore him!! He’s treated me better than any other man I’ve been with.

But we don’t have conversations. It’s a long standing issue with us that we are always working on. I listen to his monologues. Even if he has good intentions and asks about my day, most times I can’t get even halfway through something I need to share off my chest before it distracts him and I’m listening to him for 3 hours. Sometimes he’ll even ask, “you know what I mean?” “You get where I’m coming from?” And I’ll take a breathe to speak aaaaand shut my mouth on it because he doesn’t wait for a response.

It can be overwhelming but we talk about it respectfully in the end. I lie, sometimes I get overwhelmed and exasperated. Then he will knock or text me to talk things out. Sometimes he gets upset when I need alone time and then I go to him and we talk. We ultimately apologize to each other. He’s an amazing man and he calls me his goddess. We put up with each other’s bullshit because we are both imperfect and still come back together in the end and absolutely adore each other.

The difference in this particular post though, is my spouse wouldn’t respond the way this dude did. Then again, I don’t hinge my entire opinion on what woman on the internet says and what another man responds to it with. The warp and weft of gender, sexism, and neurodivergence, cannot be wrapped into one neat package of absolutes.

Everyone has their opinions but they can also all be at least a little right.

How many women are? They have been notoriously under diagnosed, so what? We still have to live and adapt to this world, regardless.

I got my autism diagnoses at 39 years of age. Not that it does any good besides validating many of my lived experiences.

Consider how many women are ND and have been forced fed the notion that we must sit down, shut up, focus, stay on task, do our duties, be strong women, never rock the boat, never be weird, keep a clean home, raise our children right, get paired with the ND boys in class who do actually get diagnosed so as to keep them on task, understand that boys will be boys ad nauseum.

If I could adapt without any sympathy others can, too, man or woman. Communication is practiced. It must be nurtured from a young age regardless of any roadblocks you’re born with or born to.

What I noticed was that most of my best friends were diagnosed. We clicked not only because we were similar but also because my teachers paired me with them and it brought us closer for it. Meanwhile, I struggled in school myself. I also had to hold the hands of my friends and be their keepers. It makes me upset that they had extra help while more responsibility was foisted on me when I needed help myself and never got it.

How am I a bartender who can absolutely relate to what she is saying and how he responded while still, also, being ND myself? Is it any wonder I never went into secondary schooling with the experience I had from grade school to highschool?

One of my patrons is so much further on the spectrum than I and I would never condescend to her while she is speaking about anything. I’m truly happy to hear about anything she has to talk about.

But if someone, man or woman, comes into my establishment and spoke to me in the same vein he is, I’d respond the same way she did because that response is something I learned to adapt to my surroundings regardless of a diagnosis.

He fell right into a trap she set and he did it all by himself by typing it out and hitting send. If he’s eloquent enough to respond the way he did, he’s deserving of the answer he got. There is no excuse here that would make me forgive his response.

If you’re going to use your diagnosis as a crutch, be off with you. You can disagree, but not anywhere in this little text post is there any indication that he even is NB in the first place.

What she was saying is something that women struggle with NB or not. Men also have their own struggles. Both are valid and there’s no reason to be defensive about her response unless you’re guilty of doing it yourself. But then you’re just projecting.

She was being sardonic. He was being defensive, borderline hostile. This observation is subjective, I know.

When I’m unsure, I just ask. Like this: Are you being sarcastic or satirical right now or or are you being a Shawn?