A man who likes to play with fire.

Heil Flipper!

They were both lobotomized for sins against the Lord.

Kilroy

”I strap my gun onto my hip
When I dip, you dip, we dip.”

Hard to find one of these places that still let you shoot at each other nowadays. :)

FYI, Reddit is not a microblog.

I’ll leave this one up since it’s pretty unique and humorous as far as reddit posts go.

The bullet only had to get lucky once.

Oh, absolutely. His next question was going to be what my passwords were.

In that case, I would have stopped the interview and excused myself. Wouldn’t have been the first time.

I once had a potential employer tell me that they can’t trust me because I have no social media presence.

7-13; the day Jim Davis had a stroke.

That tree had a name.