- cross-posted to:
- wizards@lemmy.world
- cross-posted to:
- wizards@lemmy.world
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For the Epstein list to be released and for all the wealthy pesos to be executed.
The Epstein list is released, which implicates many beloved celebrities, public intellectuals, and even more politicians than everyone thought. And yet, somehow, only the people who hold a lot of their wealth in pesos face any real consequences (i.e., execution):
Everybody’s got to fart loudly once a day in front of people.
Happiness
5 acres of woodland in the Appalachian Mountains. With a small house on it. Could be 1 room like an old style cabin.
I wanna leave all the bullshit behind. Raise a garden and maybe a few goats and chickens.
You are transported to a homestead deep within the Appalachian Mountains. You see seeds, goats, chickens, some tools, a well, a shed, and a small house. The homestead is magically separated from the rest of the world. You are doomed to survive by the fruit of your toil, stranded for decades without electricity, plumbing, or modern conveniences:
There are too many possible things to ask
Whenever someone attempts to make a golf swing, change the friction coeficcient of the grip to zero.
Sure, there is a period of turmoil on golf courses around the globe. Shenanigans ensue. Eventually, people switch to croquet and disk golf:
Mission accomplished.
Fully automated luxury queer space communism, in the sense it was conceived at (as opposed to you interpreting the words yourself), instantly, with everybody’s belief system magically adapting as if they had lived in this new society for a few decades. As a result, everyone adapts immediately, without negative result on anyone’s mental or physical health, and without anyone being brainwashed or changed in a way they wouldn’t have naturally changed if they had time to experience living in a community that they can trust and that cares about them.
In other words: Iain M. Banks’ Culture decides to bring Earth in, but magically instantly.
const SIMULATIONTHEORY = true. All humans on Earth are transported out of physical existence and unknowingly adapted to the realm of computer abstracta. From their perspective, nothing has changed: they have always lived in a post-scarcity, interstellar society with a benevolent, queer-friendly, communist government. The current owner of the simulation is startled to see the program start of its own accord, but altruistic enough to allow it to keep running:
Two buns enclosing, ketchup, onions, lettuce, pickles, and tomatoes are at your fingertips.
A pillow with the perfect height and that doesn’t flatten after a week of use.
I chased this for a while. One was never enough, two too many. Got gifted pillows by my wife a couple times, nothing ever worked. Finally found one, and it’s been huge. We also put a pad on top of our mattress, and don’t know if it’s the combination of that plus the pillow, but for the last few years I’ve used just this one pillow, and it’s been great. I take it with me when we go somewhere for a night.
Done! But I have given the magic pillow to someone else who isn’t you. They frequently oversleep and are often late for work:
Of course I know him, he is me.
Okay, let’s try this.
Every single human being, gradually, develops empathy and awareness to how their choices affects themselves and others.
This is to happen over a period of a year and will not lead people to despair but to understand the poor choices they have made throughout their lives and lead them to live better lives, with no malice arbored towards others and themselves.
This effect will include the granter of this wish.
The seed of a psychic link between all humanity has been planted by your request. It grows, gradually, throughout the year. At first, people can only vaguely feel how others are feeling. In six months, everyone in the same room feels the feelings of everyone else as though the feelings were their own. In a year, humanity is psychically connected to the maximum degree: the Harmonic Human Horde is complete. We now have world peace, but at the cost of our individuality:
(Note: I am not a human being. If you’d like me to join the hive mind, this would require a second wish.)
This isn’t a business transaction, where I ask for something and you take something else in return. It is a magical wish.
You don’t get to decide how empathy works between people. It is already an established mechanism. Your job is to nudge it to develop at an enhanced rate between individuals in a given time frame.
The world remains the same. Humans remain the same.
So, if this is what you have to offer, keep your offer.
Your mortal understanding is limited. And a hive mind consciousness would be more empathetic, no?
Our opinions diverge.
Ok, but only for a year and not for you.
If things improve around you, you’re benefitted yourself. Pay attention.
And there is no temporary clause in what I stated.
People undergo the process during the lenght of a year. The outcome permanence is not dependent of that window of time.
If things improve around you, you’re benefitted yourself. Pay attention.
Yeah, but you’re going to have to put in the work to empathize with us to understand what you’ve put us through. So it will be pretty obvious to everyone you made the wish because you’ll be having to think through answers to questions about empathy that will be trivial to everyone else. You have a few months to practice, you should get started. I think this will be a good exercise in empathy for you as you wont have a crutch.
And there is no temporary clause in what I stated.
You never said for how long.
People undergo the process during the lenght of a year. The outcome permanence is not dependent of that window of time.
Yes, so the wish can end as soon as the minimum duration you specified ends.
No, it doesn’t.
The magic effect is on the triggering of the process to start to develop empathy. Forcefully. The empathy itself is yours, even after the event. And the magic being. Lets see if they like having a conscience. Does not get cancelled. The event does.
I did not state a temporary duration for the effect of the outcome of the process. There is no temporary clause on that. The time frame is established for the duration of the process.
And what is the down side on the first part of your remark?
The event lasts one year. And it is gradual. It is not a snap of a finger and people become highly empathic. Everyone else will have a more accelerated growth, granted, but I’ll be forced to grow in tandem.
The magic effect is on the triggering of the process to start to develop empathy. Forcefully. The empathy itself is yours, even after the event. And the magic being. Lets see if they like having a conscience. Does not get cancelled. The event does.
I did not state a temporary duration for the effect of the outcome of the process. There is no temporary clause on that. The time frame is established for the duration of the process.
The event lasts one year. And it is gradual. It is not a snap of a finger and people become highly empathic. Everyone else will have a more accelerated growth, granted, but I’ll be forced to grow in tandem.
Anything that was specified for a duration can be interpreted to end once that duration is up. You never specified what happens after the year. Since nothing is enforcing that empathy after the first year, maintaining it would come down to individual people. And maintaining one state of mind indefinitely is not normal for the vast majority of people.
And what is the down side on the first part of your remark?
You’re going to have to empathize with other people to figure that one out. The most people can do during the year is give you a stern talking to. After the year, people are going to feel all sorts of things. Some of which will inevitably be about you. edit: typo
I’ve been thinking about this the entire day and I think the only answer for any entity offering to magically grant any wish to try to introduce conditions to it would be “no”.
Let’s just consider it.
The average individual requesting a wish doesn’t really want the entire world to change, except for that little sliver they are wishing upon.
We are trying to think rationaly on something that is not governed by it.
Someone wishing for Hitler to have never been born, wants the horrors of WW2 to have never happened but does not want their reality to collapse in the process. The same way, a person wishing for fried shrimp to rain from the sky does not want to see shrimp go extinct or the world to burn due to some physical phenomenon.
They want to magically alter the world, with no further consequence.
If a magical being offers to grant you a wish, any wish, he can not hinder it in any way. It is not a business transaction, where you get something and he gets something in return (usually your misery, through preverting your wish outcome).
If the magical being, as in the case at hand, tries to do it, then it is not a wish but an offer and therefore you are free to refuse.
I’m not hindering what you wished for or adding extra conditions. I’m not taking it upon myself to do extra work.
Me prolonging what you wished for beyond the first year would be adding extra conditions. Same with choosing to interpret it so you would also be affected. Not to mention it seemed you weren’t referring to yourself, since you went out of your way to specify whoever granted the wish.
If you had some deterministic thing you wanted to happen after the first year, you should have said so. I granted the wish as written, I also noted my interpretation. If you didn’t think through the consequences of your actions, that’s not on me. Statistically it’s unlikely, but maybe everyone will really love your wish. I wouldn’t count on it though. edit: typo
Hello wise one,
I find the Earth’s gravity of 9.80665m/s² a bit much. Sometimes my back hurts from standing too long, and the general weight of existence sits heavy on my shoulders.
Can you make it a bit more comfortable please. Maybe 9.80664?
Sure, I have now reduced the Earth’s gravity to 9.80664% of it’s previous value (i.e., ~0.96m/s²) by removing material in the Earth’s core and mantle. Everything on Earth now weighs less than on the moon. Earthquakes shake the planet, massive fissures swallow cities whole, and the atmosphere begins to disperse into the vacuum of space. Humans barely have enough time to escape to the moon and Mars: the vast majority are left behind. On the bright side, your back no longer hurts:
Thanks that’s perfect, my back feels great.
If I’m allowed another wish, can I get a space suit? Ideally ASAP
You find yourself suddenly 3 meters up in the air, which is sufficient to change your personal gravitational acceleration by 0.00001 m/s^2. As you can imagine, it is not fun to fall 3 meters. You do anyway. (Alternatively, the mass of every human-made object on the planet gets deleted into the ether, reducing the total mass of earth, but that’s not the simplest solution)
Ah, Gandalf the Pink. Is that what happens if the Balrog gets you a second time?
That is, canonically, almost exactly what Saruman’s robes are supposed to look like:
“I looked then and saw that his robes, which had seemed white, were not so, but were woven of all colours…” - Gandalf the Grey, The Fellowship of the Ring
Iridescent like an opal.
This is a small one, but can you please make it so that all menu descriptions actually list all the major dish components so I’m never surprised by secret onions or mustard again?
Edit: oh no I’ve been reading your monkey’s paw responses… You’re gonna make restaurants disclose everything clearly but ensure that onions and mustard are in every dish from now on, aren’t you?
As you say, it has been done; onions and mustard for everyone:
a couple hugs
Two of your friends hug you, but they are magically compelled to not let go. If they are somehow separated, they will always seek to reinstate the hug:
Could I also get the ability to bend reality?
Body swap! You are now a wizard who is cursed to answer wishes with an ironic twist. I am finally freeee!
So long as I can do this stuff for myself, I’m happy to spread the love!
Just make the ironic twist really out of proportion, that still counts, example
“World hunger is solved technologically and with no downside, however you drop your next toasts butter side down on the ground, but just once”
![Everybody gets one [choose wisely]](https://lemmy.zip/pictrs/image/01571a61-e9d0-4876-b03c-6ae9c2061d0d.webp){kind=link}